


The Terrible Argument

by Gummibearthief (Jessjess)



Series: Shawn and Jesse Chronicles [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:38:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessjess/pseuds/Gummibearthief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deep breaths reminds us that patience can be an exercise too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Terrible Argument

_There are words that trigger the immediate need to respond._  
  
"You know everyone knows I'm the dominant one."  
  
"Excuse me?  
  
 _This is where it started.  Hi, my name is Shawn and the other guy is my partner Jesse.  We've been together for a while now and I don't know why those words sparked the futility to come, but they had to hit something in me.  I don't believe that there's a top and bottom to a relationship.  Part of me feels like the concept is part of a script to establish the difference between hetero and same sex couples, and if there is one thing we don't follow it's someone else's plan for our lives.  However, my mother loves to tell me that gay doesn't change my gender, and I'm sure this would be why.  
_  
"Come on, babe.  Everyone knows you need me to manage most of your life."  
  
"Yes, I have a vague memory of the street corner and the puddle of drool you pulled me out of." _  
  
See, I love him, I really do, but when he gets in these moods I suddenly feel like shaving my head, growing tits and joining a lesbian coalition for man-haters.  He thinks he's right and my sarcasm is about to explode like Vesuvius popping a cork._  
  
"Don't be difficult, sweetie.  I went to years of therapy and you know what I found?"  
  
"The path to enlightenment and an empty wallet since you seem to be under the impression that your world revolves around you?"  
  
"Don't be mean either.  No, I learned in therapy that being honest with myself meant that I have to learn and love who I am.  I am a dominant that other people weep to be."  
  
 _I would like to go on record right now to say that I did think about stifling the snort of disbelief, but it snuck out like a defiant teenager.  The search for the prescription or the illegal drugs was intentional.  
  
_ "You never take me seriously!"  
  
"You never realize that crazy people sound crazy!"  
  
 _The commentary might have been on purpose as well._  
  
"You want proof?  I say, let's go out.  You never pick.  You always say you can't decide and make me do it."  
  
"Some might see that as being considerate.  I don't even want to go out most of the time!"  
  
"Exactly, you're like one of those househusbands on tv."  
  
 _Did you know there is a moment where your vision can go entirely white?  Instead of rage, it's a moment of utter clarity. There isn’t a set pattern to it in my case, no identifiable trigger, just this time of intense feeling specific to the moment and  I realized right at that time that I could see my life in prison after I killed him.  It didn't look too bad.  If you ever wonder why your partner is taking a deep breath in the middle of an argument it's probably because they have just resisted the idea of cold blooded murder complete with an attached insanity plea.  
  
_ "Iam not being a househusband because I don't want to go out.  I don't want to go out because my allergies make people uncomfortable when we sit at a table full of food and I don't eat!"  
  
"I told you I would carry food for you in my man bag!  Totally safe, 100% organic Shawn friendly food to sneak out and savor."  
  
 _You knew there was a reason I stay with him, right?  He has too - just so I wouldn't feel left out.  He'll work that huge bag like Dame Edna at a Hollywood bash, and he does it just for me._  
  
"That still doesn't make you the dominant party in this relationship."  
  
"It does when you have to stare down a maitre'd over their suspicious interest in the bag.  The food helps prove my point too, since I'm providing it."  
  
"The food provision makes you the wife in a traditional household."  
  
"Oh please, this conversation is about dominant characteristics, and if you think that wives haven't done that for the last couple hundred years then we need to go see a doctor.  He's going to find you a fascinating character study since being gay has apparently created an amnesia that made you forget both your mother and grandmother."  
  
"You want to be on top tonight, don't you?  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You could have just said something."  
  
"I could have but things have been calm lately.  I wanted something dramatic, and now we can have passionate make-up sex."  
  
"There is something wrong with you.  Stop reading Cosmo."  
  
"Love me, love my flaws."  
  
"I do, baby.  I do."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I shouldn't enjoy these two as much as I do, but the ridiculous appeals to me.


End file.
